Sacramento Music Circus Journal: 8/15/07
What Day IS it? I've lost count!
Oh boy. I lost count of how many days I've been here cuz life has been crazy!!!
Can you imagine putting up a huge musical in a week and a half? I have no idea what the date is today, or even what day it is.
I'm am thuroughly enjoying myself. I have had a few rough patches of overcoming some insecurities and such, but I have recovered and am ready to get my Jekyll on...
Sacramento Music Circus is "in the round" with 4 isles to enter and exit from. The entire structure of the building is circular, so even when I exit the stage and theatre, I am in the outer perimiters of the space where all the bathrooms and consession stands are... basically that would be the "lobby" but there is no lobby because it's all just one long circular hallway. So, when I exit the theatre, I am confronted with a whole other problem which is 'which way to do I go to get to the dressing room?'.I am so lost in that space that I had to make a cheat sheet and stuff it down my shirt. It tells me which scene is coming up next, what isle I enter, what isle I exit and where to go for my costume change.
The insecurities I mentioned had to do with how STUPID I felt once we got into the theatre and figuring out where my enterences and exits were. In the rehearsal space they had the blueprints of the stage and isles taped out on the floor, but once I got into the theatre, I had to re-learn all of my blocking because the rehearsal space was not exactly like the theatre space. I was paraniod that I'd mess up, and I DID, a lot.. and this is a theatre I'd like to work in again, so the pressure was on to be absolutely perfect. I gave myself no room to be human and make mistakes, and I found myself crying after the first rehearsal we had in that space.
Also, we have to do this watlz, and low and behold I've never waltzed before. I'm a bumbling idiot up there, trying to waltz and I'm so afraid the choreographer is gonna regret hiring me. I waltzed perfectly fine at the call back, but that was because I was not paired up with a partner. I had never ballroom danced with a partner before, and there I was tripping over his feet and falling behind. Now that I think of it, it's pretty funny, but at the time I was near tears.
It's interesting to think about all the auditions I've been to and how many roles I've desired to land, thinking "oh I could TOTALLY do this if they would just hire me", and now that I've been hired, and I'm here doing this, I realize that this is hard work. I'm not complaining at all, because I'm having a blast, but being in a production like this, at a theatre with so much clout, is not about being able to "totally do this".. it's about having the courage to make mistakes, the ability to admit when I'm lost, and the knowledge that I am worthy to be here.
Can you imagine putting up a huge musical in a week and a half? I have no idea what the date is today, or even what day it is.
I'm am thuroughly enjoying myself. I have had a few rough patches of overcoming some insecurities and such, but I have recovered and am ready to get my Jekyll on...
Sacramento Music Circus is "in the round" with 4 isles to enter and exit from. The entire structure of the building is circular, so even when I exit the stage and theatre, I am in the outer perimiters of the space where all the bathrooms and consession stands are... basically that would be the "lobby" but there is no lobby because it's all just one long circular hallway. So, when I exit the theatre, I am confronted with a whole other problem which is 'which way to do I go to get to the dressing room?'.I am so lost in that space that I had to make a cheat sheet and stuff it down my shirt. It tells me which scene is coming up next, what isle I enter, what isle I exit and where to go for my costume change.
The insecurities I mentioned had to do with how STUPID I felt once we got into the theatre and figuring out where my enterences and exits were. In the rehearsal space they had the blueprints of the stage and isles taped out on the floor, but once I got into the theatre, I had to re-learn all of my blocking because the rehearsal space was not exactly like the theatre space. I was paraniod that I'd mess up, and I DID, a lot.. and this is a theatre I'd like to work in again, so the pressure was on to be absolutely perfect. I gave myself no room to be human and make mistakes, and I found myself crying after the first rehearsal we had in that space.
Also, we have to do this watlz, and low and behold I've never waltzed before. I'm a bumbling idiot up there, trying to waltz and I'm so afraid the choreographer is gonna regret hiring me. I waltzed perfectly fine at the call back, but that was because I was not paired up with a partner. I had never ballroom danced with a partner before, and there I was tripping over his feet and falling behind. Now that I think of it, it's pretty funny, but at the time I was near tears.
It's interesting to think about all the auditions I've been to and how many roles I've desired to land, thinking "oh I could TOTALLY do this if they would just hire me", and now that I've been hired, and I'm here doing this, I realize that this is hard work. I'm not complaining at all, because I'm having a blast, but being in a production like this, at a theatre with so much clout, is not about being able to "totally do this".. it's about having the courage to make mistakes, the ability to admit when I'm lost, and the knowledge that I am worthy to be here.